Security Lards

It's another night of nothing to do. Parties typically involve way too many intoxicated douche bags for my taste, and plus, I wasn't really in the mood for natty light. So I decided to charge up the camera, and head out of a little photography expedition. I called up my boy Adam to see if he wants to accompany me. "What’s that? Word. I'll be there in few".

After a half an hour of driving around my town, and I finally found a spot worthy of being the subject of my camera.

The Best Buy we arrived at was constructed rather recently on what is really an odd piece of land. The Best Buy and subsequent Quodoba grill, Noodles and Company, and Chic-Fil-A are erected on an area of land created by building the biggest friggin' retaining wall I've ever seen. The thing is quite literally almost 80 feet tall.

We rolled around back to a point where we're at the edge of said retaining wall; I parked the truck in the "employee parking" lot, held my hands in front of the heater in a lame attempt to make the harsh bite of the frigid weather less intense, and started setting up my tripod.

I'm clicked away at this view for a few minutes before switching to another angle. Just then a car turned the corner and I called out to Adam "Well, this jackass just screwed over that picture". (That’s the problem with long shutter times, any car or light source that comes near can either screw over or improve your shot.)

The car slowed down and when it came near, the license plate did not say fresh, nor were there dice hanging on the mirror. So ace security dude cranked down his window and said "What the hell are you two doing?” To which I replied "Just taking some pictures". I got the same response I usually get whenever someone realizes I'm just taking pictures. He responded, "Of what?" I did a half turn and motioned with my arms to the great view of our beautiful town and said "just the gorgeous [insert name of Baltimore suburb here] area sir".

Oh my! This shocked and appalled our fair security guard. Perhaps he had not considered photography an art form, something that people do for fun. Perhaps he had only imagined cameras to be used to record family get togethers or birthday parties. Either way, he quickly informed me that this was "his parking lot" and for "security reasons" we better "move on".

Is this what our country has driven us to? Has our post 9/11 America really made it so I, the humble amateur photographer, cannot be in a large electronic superstore's parking lot at 11:30 at night? Apparently so.

But have no fear my fellow photographers, for I was soon to have the most wondrous gift bestowed upon me. The security guard kicked us out, but he left us with these parting words, and I quote: "You can take pictures anywhere you want, just not at Best Buys". Stay tuned for pictures of Area 51, the vault at Fort Knox, and the inner sanctum of the Knights of Templar.